Cash Money

Dig this. After winning the cage match my boys and me thought we'd get our fit up and roll in styles, you know. Straight pimpin' ain't always what players make it out to be. It ain't all blue skies and champagne. Check it, spinnin in our rims we see this store and we think we'd pop in and get a gift for our favorite Michael Pizza photog Andrea. She's the one that took this shot of us displaying our new found green see. This joint was a cool. It was a pet store in Lakeview called "Doggy in the window." We thought we'd get her a dog. Sure, we don't know if she's lergic to hounds or if the chick can handle a pouch but why not travel on an impulse and do what your heart tells you. The four stroll in and we're just scoping the little guys that are hoppin' and jumping round their cages like we got fuckin bacon in our pockets or something. Real cute shit. My boy Eric spots a nice little great Dane and makes claim that this is the dog. We were all lookin at him like he's got nuts for brains. This hound was the size of a boat. I could put hydraulics on this fella and stroll down Clark in front of iO and all my felines can jump and holla. Since instinct is the name of the day we buy that sucka's soul and ride with him in the car to Andrea's where we will introduce the bound to be new inseparable pair. No dice. Scuffle starts in the back. Seems that my boys Brett and Benjamillion are gigglin so much that the doggity gets real excited. This mammouth is movin. He ain's small I remind you. The seat is bouncin' in the front like there is a heavy weight kickin the seat in some mock child fit. We stop at a red light and I can't take it. I'm gettin' tossed around like raggedy Andy (which I was told I resemble). I open the door to get out and the dog jumps out and runs off into the black night. This mut ran fast. We drove around lookin' for him for a little while. No luck. If you find a great Dane running around Lakeview give Andrea a call. It's her dog.
J-

We won the iO Cagematch!

Well our storied run through the iO Theater Cagematch has come to a close with a championship. It sure was a ton of fun with both highs and lows. W can't thank everyone enough that came out and saw the shows. We hope you had as good of a time as we did.

The future is a bit hazy for Michael Pizza right now as Brett is back on tour with Kenny Chesney but we have plans to keep us fresh and ready for another run. We are doing some shows at The Playground on 4/29 at 8pm and 6/3 at 8pm.

We hope to see you there!

EC

Megabus Screwed Me!

Here's the factual story. This actually happened-
Took the Megabus on Nov. 17th from Cleveland to Chicago.
Stopped for fuel in Amherst at a rest stop (The Megabus shouldn't have to stop for fuel).
The bus driver, Ken Jackson, woke me up from a nap and told me to get off the bus.
I wait.
I eat Panera Bread.
I wait some more.
I finally see the Bus driver in the rest stop walking around.
Take a quick pee before we leave.
I come out and see the bus gone. With all my stuff.
I call Megabus to alert them to the situation.
They keep me on hold for over 30mins.
They tell me they are going to get in touch with the driver.
I get them to talk to me 30mins later.
They tell me Ken Jackson refuses to turn around.
They also tell me that the next bus leaving 12 hours later might be able to pick me up.
My dad picks up his frantically swearing kid.
I get a call from my friend. (Someone recognized me on the bus)
I get in touch with the guy on the bus.
He talks to the driver about what happened.
Bus driver, Ken Jackson, says he counted me.
LIAR! If you counted me then I would have been on there!
I get to Chicago via the 9 o'clock bus. My dad took me there.
I go to the Megabus garage to reclaim my items the next day.
My Dell inspiron laptop, laptop cooling pad and brand new digital camera are removed from my bag.
GONE!!!
No one answered my calls and their was no customer service to shoulder the responsibility.To make a long story short I filed in small claims suing Megabus for compensation. They have just recently filed for a trial by jury as an attempt to make me fold. Now I will be trying to state my case in a courtroom in front of a jury.
I dios mio!

Colorful interpretation-
Took the Megabus on Nov. 17th from Cleveland to Chicago.
The driver didn't get gas before the trip, so we were forced to refuel in Amherst.
Ken Jackson, violently shakes me from my slumber to eject me from the bus.
He takes forever refueling. Probably plotting to burn hair on the bus, or rob babies of pacifiers.
I eat Panera Bread. Damn those sandwiches are so good. It tastes great.
Ken is still plotting to do evil.
Suddenly I see his figure, absent of a shadow or an aura, walking in the rest stop.
Full of pepsi I pee.
Taking advantage of my unination Ken Jackson hurrys to get away with my goods. My goods!
I call the horrible corporation that is Megabus to plead with them to turn around.
They know its me and refuse to answer my howling.
They decieve me with lies about how they aim to do good. They are decievers.
After 88 calls they can't hang up on me anymore and come clean about their evil.
Ken Jackson laughs. The bus is afraid of his cackling and birds fall from the sky.
They inform me that if they feel like it they may decide to pick me up hours later. I draw pictures of ways I can save energy.
My dad, pulls through the dark for that has set in and tells me to get in. He has ice cream ready.
I get a call from my friend. (Someone recognized me on the bus) I have a face.
I get in touch with him and he informs me he tried to stop the driver but he was to powerful.
Ken Jackson laughs at his attempts to let him know the evil he's done.
As a compulsive liar, he tells a lie that he counted me.
After some more ice cream and a ride I make it to the 9 o'clock Evilbus (Megabus).
I go to the Megabus garage. It smells like piss. They work their employees in piss encased garbage cans.
All my stuff is gone. They must have divied it up and sold it off for drug money. Ken laughs.
GONE!!!

The interpretation is actually pretty close to the true story.
Megbus sucks!
Josh Logan-

Interesting thing about Josh Logan

An interesting thing about Josh Logan.

Hi. I have a theory about myself. Maybe its not actually a theory more of just something that I have noticed all the time and my good friends have agreed with via their acquaintances and other people they interact with. No one likes me at first. I'm simply not one of those magnetic people that everyone flocks to be near. When I say no one, I mean the majority of people. Of course there are those folks that anyone can click with right away. The ones you can have deep meaningful chats with about how you think you had powers over the weather when you were a kid or what soda pop you like best and if you think you can tell the difference in a blind taste test, those people are great and you need to have them around. I must come off too strong or my sense of humor is unintelligible for some off the bat. Now, I will grow on you. Why not? I'm non combative. I really just want to have fun and find some game we can both play. Sooner or later your going to be my friend, I just have to have enough time to sink my claws in you.
That's it,
Josh-

We won the Semi-finals! Theme Song!

Hey Everyone,

   We, Michael Pizza, won the semi-final round in iO's $800 cage match. Isn't that neat? There is only one show left. The finals. The one show that can either elevate a team to the super status of uncontrollable masters of prov or crush the losing teams dreams of iO stardom. We are not yet sure who is going to be the opposing team. It is either Katie Rich, who I have heard is a barrel of fun energy and they want it bad, or The Turkish Figs which is basically a who's who of great improvisers. The Turkish Figs are the guys you've been going to iO for years to see. They are the best the entire community has to offer. No matter who we face, we're ready. The sum of the parts are what makes the whole and your Michael Pizza are definitely not intimidated by any great players. When we get together, stars explode, wolves howl, radiator gaskets burst, and tennis balls bounce.

Matt Elam, Brett's brother, is a talented rapper and creative genius. If you have a few minutes and want to check out some awesome videos done with amazing quality go to http://www.teamgenius.biz/. Besides being a super nice guy he is also very supportive. He whipped us up a intro song to use in our shows. Another creative mastermind is Brett's friend Zack. He is a producer for some very talented musical artists in Cashville, Tennekey (Nashville, Tennessee but Brett likes us to refer to it as the other).

The end of the song is the beat looped. I kinda chopped it up at the end to create this simple video. Its amazing though. 

 

Josh-

Intro Song!

Hey Everyone,

Just wanted to let you know we just had a custom Michael Pizza intro song put together for our upcoming shows.

To hear this amazing hip/hop number you will have to come to one of those aforementioned shows.

Brett's friend, Scott Zarific was kind enough to mix the hilarious song for us.

-E to the C

Lost Email = Funny Results

I came across this post from another blog while surfing and thought I would share as it is quite funny.

At one of our Michael at Midnight shows at the Playground Theater we had a jelly bean guessing contest with the winner getting two tickets to a show. Well, appearently the winner either put down his friend's email as a gag or was too drunk to remember the show.

Here is the entry of our winner trying to find the root of the Michael Pizza email:

http://indifferencepunctuatedbydisgust.blogspot.com/2009/02/bizarre-e-mails-1.html

-E to the C

Michael Pizza's first post! April 11th Cagematch semifinals announcement.

Michael Pizza!
Hi everyone. I would like to welcome you to the blog of Michael Pizza. What is Michael Pizza? Well man/woman, we are an improv/sketch comedy group in Chicago, IL. Michael Pizza consists of Eric Christensen, Ben Kass, Brett Elam and Josh Logan with David Montgomery as our coach. The purpose of this blog is to inform our fans about upcoming shows, share creativity, act as a medium for the outpouring of our unique perspective on the world and also make you smile.

First big news: Michael Pizza is a semifinalist in iO's 800$ improv CageMatch. For those of you who don't know what iO is, its a world famous improv theater which attracts talent from all over the country and where most of our prized comedy talent stems from. The CageMatch is a competition they have there which pits team against team in the ultimate improv showdown. That being said its huge news that we are in the semifinals. We need all our fans along with the wana be fans who just aren't sure how to get involved. The date for the CageMatch is April 11th at 11:59pm at iO (3541 N. Clark St., Addison Stop via red Line). Please come and support us. We'll be meeting at Mullens Bar next door to iO at 10:30pm to get ready and pumped for the show.
Thanks everybody,
Michael Pizza