Megabus Screwed Me!

Here's the factual story. This actually happened-
Took the Megabus on Nov. 17th from Cleveland to Chicago.
Stopped for fuel in Amherst at a rest stop (The Megabus shouldn't have to stop for fuel).
The bus driver, Ken Jackson, woke me up from a nap and told me to get off the bus.
I wait.
I eat Panera Bread.
I wait some more.
I finally see the Bus driver in the rest stop walking around.
Take a quick pee before we leave.
I come out and see the bus gone. With all my stuff.
I call Megabus to alert them to the situation.
They keep me on hold for over 30mins.
They tell me they are going to get in touch with the driver.
I get them to talk to me 30mins later.
They tell me Ken Jackson refuses to turn around.
They also tell me that the next bus leaving 12 hours later might be able to pick me up.
My dad picks up his frantically swearing kid.
I get a call from my friend. (Someone recognized me on the bus)
I get in touch with the guy on the bus.
He talks to the driver about what happened.
Bus driver, Ken Jackson, says he counted me.
LIAR! If you counted me then I would have been on there!
I get to Chicago via the 9 o'clock bus. My dad took me there.
I go to the Megabus garage to reclaim my items the next day.
My Dell inspiron laptop, laptop cooling pad and brand new digital camera are removed from my bag.
GONE!!!
No one answered my calls and their was no customer service to shoulder the responsibility.To make a long story short I filed in small claims suing Megabus for compensation. They have just recently filed for a trial by jury as an attempt to make me fold. Now I will be trying to state my case in a courtroom in front of a jury.
I dios mio!

Colorful interpretation-
Took the Megabus on Nov. 17th from Cleveland to Chicago.
The driver didn't get gas before the trip, so we were forced to refuel in Amherst.
Ken Jackson, violently shakes me from my slumber to eject me from the bus.
He takes forever refueling. Probably plotting to burn hair on the bus, or rob babies of pacifiers.
I eat Panera Bread. Damn those sandwiches are so good. It tastes great.
Ken is still plotting to do evil.
Suddenly I see his figure, absent of a shadow or an aura, walking in the rest stop.
Full of pepsi I pee.
Taking advantage of my unination Ken Jackson hurrys to get away with my goods. My goods!
I call the horrible corporation that is Megabus to plead with them to turn around.
They know its me and refuse to answer my howling.
They decieve me with lies about how they aim to do good. They are decievers.
After 88 calls they can't hang up on me anymore and come clean about their evil.
Ken Jackson laughs. The bus is afraid of his cackling and birds fall from the sky.
They inform me that if they feel like it they may decide to pick me up hours later. I draw pictures of ways I can save energy.
My dad, pulls through the dark for that has set in and tells me to get in. He has ice cream ready.
I get a call from my friend. (Someone recognized me on the bus) I have a face.
I get in touch with him and he informs me he tried to stop the driver but he was to powerful.
Ken Jackson laughs at his attempts to let him know the evil he's done.
As a compulsive liar, he tells a lie that he counted me.
After some more ice cream and a ride I make it to the 9 o'clock Evilbus (Megabus).
I go to the Megabus garage. It smells like piss. They work their employees in piss encased garbage cans.
All my stuff is gone. They must have divied it up and sold it off for drug money. Ken laughs.
GONE!!!

The interpretation is actually pretty close to the true story.
Megbus sucks!
Josh Logan-