Fly down, way down

by eric

This a quick little story of an improv experience I had while in college.

My friend and I, Mike Garvin, had a two man team which we dubbed "Date Night". In fact, we still do shows whenever I am back in Carbondale, the place of my college days and his current home. We played on a very intimate and cozy space named the Longbranch Backroom that holds about 40 when it is packed to the gills.

On this night, I can honestly say I can't even remember what year this was, we were doing a set in which Mike was wearing a suit and I was wearing a tux. You see, our theme was "classy improv for an un-classy world" and so we tried to dress nice on our "Date Night". (As you can see from the photo a fan took at that very show)

I remember we had to change into the suits at the theater behind a little blind. It was all very sexy. The certain pair of tuxedo pants I was wearing has an extraordinary long fly zipper, which I still posses to this day but haven't worn since. I don't know if that was the style back in the day, to have a super long fly zipper or if it was tailored to a man packing some heat. Either way, that chasm of a fly never made its way closed before the show, unbeknownst to me.

I don't know at what point I realized that the Grand Canyon in my pants was presenting itself to the audience, I just know that when I did I stepped behind Mike and made things right. The zip heard round the world they say.

I later found out that my girlfriend, and now wife, Tamira had been trying to flag me down from the back of the theater as she was taping the show. Don't start looking for the video of Youtube, it isn't there. But it is in my mind to this day and every time I take the stage, I do a little zipper check. If you ever watch me on the back line during a game of "freeze" or the "the dream" at iO Theater, you will likely catch me checking myself.

Doin' If For Yourself

While flipping through some old acting class folders from college, I came across an article that spoke to me as much today as when I first read it years ago. Back then, I applied the ideas of this periodical to stage acting. Now I apply it to improvisation. I especially like what the author says about fear, as that is one of the biggest hurdles in improv, especially for beginners. Even though this article is about athletes and sports, the same ideas apply to any kind of performance! Honestly, you can apply this article to anything in your life: work, play, relationships, etc. Here are only two excerpts of one great article:

"Doin' It For Yourself"
By K.C. Compton
I have to or else...I choose to because...Within each of those phrases lies an entire story about an athlete's motivation and possibly the of her long-term success. One phrase finds its source in fear; the other comes from and continues to produce joy. Any athlete knows fear--sometimes actual fear for her safety or well-being, but more often fear of looking stupid or fear of just flat-out being a loser. As a motivator, fear can be a doozy, at least for a little while. But it is fear's companions--burnout, limitation and suffering--that ultimately make it bad news for the athlete.
"When you are motivated by fear, your perspective is really limited because all you're trying to do is survive," says sports psychologist Virginia Savage. "you can only see one or tow options, when really you have many options. Fear sometimes works as a motivator, but only for the time being. You suffer because you're always judging yourself harshly, which creates burnout."
Kathy Cosley, a record-setting mountaineer who has climbed some of the world's roughest and most challenging peaks, says some of her worst fears come not from staring down Switzerland's jagged and awe-inspiring Eiger or Patagonia's daunting Cerro Torre peak, but from fearing she'll fail when performing under the scrutiny of her peers.
"I've had a lot of performance anxiety because I was afraid of looking bad in front of people I respect a lot," Cosley says. "It's just natural for those thoughts to pass through your mind. But I can't imagine being motivated for long by that. I keeps me from thinking clearly and makes it hard for me to keep my mind on how to do the best job i can. I'm in this for the fun of it, and if that's your central motivator, you'll keep doing it for as long as you can, no matter what."

(Back to Ben blogging)
Cosley's quote above about "performing under the scrutiny of her peers" really resonates with me. I often perform improv or sketch comedy in front of fellow actors, many of whom I admire. When I have fear racing through my mind right before a show starts, I'm leaving very little room for creativity in the performance. It's like the race has already started, but I'm still at the starting block thinking about who is in the crowd. It's not a lost cause at this point, but doubly hard to catch up to where you'd like to be. When I find myself nervous about who is watching and whether or not they'll like what I do, I remember this simple thing: These people WANT to see me shine. They WANT to see something that makes them laugh. Why would I be afraid of making one of my improv heroes laugh? I've done this, and I know why: fear. Fear of not looking good or worthy in front veteran improvisers, friends or even strangers that will form opinions about me. The most intense fear for me happens if I'm dating a girl and she sees my show for the first time. Now there's an opinion I care about!)
I used to concern myself with that slippery slope much more than I do now. I won't lie, I still care if people think my improv is funny. I just don't worry as much if they don't, and that makes for more fearless performances, which is what we strive for in anything, whether it's improv, scripted shows, or sports. My favorite improv shows are with Michael Pizza when I was less concerned with fear and far more focused on having fun with my boys on stage.

Do you tell yourself that you have to be funny in a show or else people won't like you? Or are you choosing to do it for yourself?

-Ben